"Today, I told the sun:
Now I know what it's like,
to be swallowed by darkness
night after night.
Well good, she replied,
with a shimmering grin,
then you know what it's like
to keep rising again."
Owning Our Past, Instead Of Our Past Owning Us
Our past never leaves us, because it has shaped us into who we are today. I celebrate my story, and I share it openly with you to demonstrate - as a vessel - the unlimited potential of conscious transformation. I want you to know my humanness and for you to feel what themes of our journeys we may share.
I have danced in the depths of darkness as well as the brightest of light, and although I have been walking on my spiritual path for a while now, it is still important to me that I talk about the full spectrum of the human condition.
We live in a world of duality.
I want all people to feel seen.
No-one is excluded, no matter where they are in their journey of evolution.
Regardless of how you feel now and which emotional current you are riding, I aspire for my content to be accessible and relatable to everyone.
I want you to know where I have come from so that it if you are currently suffering, my openness can provide proof that your own potential for change is limitless once you receive the right "keys"...
That there is HOPE for you to find peace and happiness.
It may not be an easy or fast process,
but I BELIEVE IN YOU,
and will do my best to guide and support you by sharing what I have learned.
The vision of becoming a self-love coach came to me initially when I was a 19 year-old patient in an Eating Disorder Clinic.
Have you reached your "divine" rock-bottom?
I was suicidal, and it wasn't the first time. In order to find a reason to continue living in my intense suffering, leaning against white walls, I was day-dreaming; visualizing my "higher self", the person who I am most motivated to fight towards embodying. I saw myself having learned to feel an unshakable sense of gratitude and peace, guiding and inspiring others to do the same. This character felt polar-opposite to my current state of being, yet for the first time I was tapping into an innate sense of oneness and unconditional love. I realized the power of the heart. When I didn't have enough self-worth to fight for my own life for myself, I was able to conjure strength for the other people who I could one day give my love and support to... It was in essence the first moment I connected with my greater purpose, inner-standing the full potential of evolution and light which could result from my existence if I started making different choices.
Dark Times: Plagued by the "Self-love Deficit" Condition
Things didn't instantly turn into love and light though! Up until aged 22, my reality was overwhelmed by multiple addictions and terrible mental health. From puberty, depression, anxiety, and dissociation, had been my chronic states of being. I found it difficult to build and maintain authentic relationships, and was extremely isolated. From 15 years old I had been prescribed strong medications and was dependent on it to be able to (barely) function. My body and mind were numb, dis-regulated and unbalanced. Existing as I did was agonizing, and I reached points of suicidality numerous times.
Years of traditional Talk-Therapy and Psychiatry did not help me find stability or peace.
Not that I would change a thing from my path, but I believe that had I sooner encountered a holistic Self-love Coach who shared with me the necessary knowledge for self-healing, and a wider range of tools, I would have saved a lot of time!
Rising into the light: harnessing self-love
My life dramatically shifted for the better when I stayed in a holistic healing Centre in Thailand. I came off all medication and as part of my treatment program, and as well as exceptional trauma release therapies, I was prescribed three massages per week, taught daily meditation and yoga, and put on a plant-based diet. These were changes which no mainstream mental health professional had ever prescribed to me before. They were simple to adopt, yet utterly profound. My interest in alternative healing modalities had been officially ignited.
For the past 8 years, my primary life's focus has been to understand, study and apply the practice of healing. Initially, I only wanted to learn how to heal myself from my own suffering, yet it became clear that it is my life's purpose to share the wisdom and tools that I've acquired from my personal journey.
We are all unique and complex beings, with our own histories, beliefs, and temperaments. Therefore, we cannot apply a "one glove fits all" approach to healing. There are many different methods of healing, and I am grateful to have experienced and studied first-hand such a wide variety.